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Below are the 9 most recent journal entries recorded in Searching but not lost's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, March 1st, 2005
4:59 pm
I've moved!!!
You can now find me at medicine_weasel.

Why the name change? I couldn't think of a good LJ name at the time and drunken monkey sounded fun and somehow fit at the time. Somehow it doesn't really seem to fit anymore....
Saturday, December 11th, 2004
8:14 pm
Blustery Day
I think today was the definition of the word "blustery". For some reason that word always reminds me of Winnie the Pooh. I seem to recall that one of the stories opens with "It was a very blustery day..." or something to that effect. The weather in general made me a little homesick for Pennsylvania. Strange I know, but I tend to associate chilly, cloudy days with my home state. The year before I moved down here it was cloudy for every single day in September and there was a sort of constant mist in the air... not proper rain, but a mist. I really do have to get home soon. I want to see the mountains again and maybe go fishing at Laurel Lake. I do miss my mountains.

It has been a good day. I got very little done that I had originally intended to accomplish, but that is OK. I am looking forward to the party tonight. I've been a bit of a recluse for the past year. There has been some reason for that, but it is definitely time to change my patterns. The next couple o' weeks are going to be busy. Party tonight, Maurer party next Friday, followed by my office party the next night, then of course bluefirekali2's b-day the next day. (I can't any anything about the last here cause its a secret... shhhh....) Then of course Yule the next week. Gah. We'll I'll not go too deeply into my feelings on Xmas here. Part of me really loves the season, but I my heart of hearts I truly wish the day did not exist. I feel that the pain, suffering and depression it causes are just not worth it. A movie I watched last night had an interesting quote that sort ot ties in, "they say there is just enough religion in the word to make people hate each other but not enough to make them love".

Well, its time to leave!

Current Mood: cheerful
Tuesday, December 7th, 2004
9:59 pm
Its Over.. and a little bit of a rant (warning)
So the LARP season (for Chimera at least) is officially over! I think we have had a good year, but I can't say that I'm not thankful for the break. There were a number of times I honestly didn't think I was going to make it through the season this year. I have to give thanks to Stratford for taking some of the load, and to Nico for helping get things in order. It looks like a few more people are going to step up next year and really help out. I also have to thank bluefirekali2 for talking me through a few bouts of despair! Our last event, the Deepfrost Bazaar, went pretty well. It rained toward the end which made it a little damp, but otherwise I think we ended the year on a good note. I even had a really good time at the event. I especially enjoyed playing a brownie who who became a boaggart because someone thanked him! I have been finding that I enjoy being at the events... its the before-hand that drives me crazy. Unfortunately, one little incident at the end hit me right in my sore spot. I've had a number of conversations recently concerning the changes in the Chimera community. One of the biggest issues I have seen is the rise of a sense of entitlement among the players. It drives me crazy. In the old days we used to be able to do whatever we wanted and the players trusted us. Character points were maleable, going on an adventure often meant risking sudden and terrible death, and people voluteered just because they loved the game.. they loved playing... they loved being part of the story we were creating. Now it seems to be all about character points and brownie points! People complain if an adventure features something that can mean sudden and permanent death. They demand brownie points for everything! Grii and I were talking the other day about how he used to come over to my house and spend hours making and sorting props and all kinds of stuff for the game. He never asked for brownie points. He just did it because he loved the game and wanted to see it be as good as possible. We had numbers of others who did the same. Over the years I have sunk literally $1000s of dollars not to mention 1000s of hours into this game to keep it going. Plot members meet almost every week (taking an evening out of their week) to plan events, not to mention all of the writing and planning that goes on between events and the event itself. When someone indignantly demands brownie for something I can't help but get a little angry. I just don't know... I don't know where the spirit went. Maybe it is time to go out while we are still running something good, before those of us who do care are too burned out and there is nothing left but dust. I hope not....

In other news, things look rather unstable at my job. I am having the worst month ever! Anyone need a mortgage or refi? Or know of any job openings. I am very excited about getting my Landscaping/ Lawn Care busniness off to a good start next Spring. But that is at least three months away. Gah! Well, it will all come together somehow. I have had remarkably good response so far for leaf clean-up and such, but the real business will not begin until next year.

I am actually enjoying being on LJ more than I thought I would. (The past year has been full over discovering that I enjoy many things more than I thought I would.) There are a few interesting groups and some people have some rather interesting journals. Quite frankly, some of my early experiences with LJ were not so positive. I got rather soured to the whole idea rather quickly. I still feel that far too many people use them in ways that I feel are irresponsible. But I suppose that can be said of almost anything in life. I should not condemn the medium for what people choose to do with it! So far its been good getting to know some of you and I look forward to meeting more of you in the future.

Current Mood: contemplative
Wednesday, December 1st, 2004
8:39 pm
Wow, I haven't written here much. I'm not even sure what made me log on here tonight. I just finished making a ton of phone calls and I'm feeling bored and restless an far too unfocused to do anything useful right now. For those who don't know my day (or rather evening) job is being a loan officer for a mortgage company. Of course anyone reading this probably already knows that. I feel like I need to write... free-write really. I don't have the focus for serious writing. Maybe if I get the jumble out of my head then I can do something more productive. So here goes... a brief excursion into my random thoughts.

Looking at my previous two entries I can't help but think about how much has changes since May. I think this coming year is going tobe a good one. 2003 was a pretty rough year overall. I got hit with a tomato. Heh. 2004 saw improvement, but it has been very much a year of transition. Who knows what 2005 will hold? In the past few months I have started a new business, started to explore some of my more spiritual side, had my house catch on fire, moved to a new house in a different part fo town, and shaved my head. (I guess I need to change my photo....) Oh, and a few other things that are far too personal to write about in a public journal. I feel like a different person. The president is still the same and that sucks, but I'm not even going to bother going into politics at this point. Much too depressing.

I had a strange dream last night. Not that unusual really. But one line stuck with me and won't go away... I was dying (though I wasn't actually me) at the end fo the dream (well it was more like the middle) and I heard these words in my head. "Now, only at the end of all this do I truly understand what it all meant." The "camera" panned back and I could see myself lying there in a pool of blood looking up at the moon.

The ferrets are doing well. I feel so bad because I didn't pay much attention to them for a few days and their water bottle got stuck. They were not doing so well for a couple days but they seem to be OK now. They are currently scampering around raising hell. I am trying to train Roi to actually sit with me for a bit with little success.

I've officially started my new business. I'm going to try my hand at lawn care and landscaping. One of my cousins in PA just started a business this year and he is doing really well. I think I would be good at it and even enjoy what I was doing for once. I mean, it isn't one of my dreams or passions, but I do like being outside and working with plants and earth. Some day I will write a book or make a movie or something.... Bluefirekali2 keeps teasing me that I should have a cooking show on how to make good food with whatever you have in the kitchen.

The LARP season is all but over. We have a one day next week and then done. I have such mixed feelings on LARPs right now. I am happy that the season is over, yet strangely excited about next year. I wish I could shake the feeling of dread that so often accompanies events these days. Actually, it is more the time before. when I am there I enjoy myself, but the few days before are often miserable. That is one of my goals - to completely enjoy the LARP season next year and to get everything I can out of it. Shattered Isles has become such an intrinsic part fo my life that I can't even begin to imagine life without it.

I want to read more. I've been trying to get back into reading. Over the past few days I've been alternating between "The History of Philosophy" (loaned to me by Bruce), "Tropic of Cancer" and "The Kabbalah Tree" (loaned to me by bluefirekali2). Maybe that is why I am having strange dreams....

Hmmm.. that was sort of cathartic. Maybe I'm starting to get the hang of this LJ thing. Next time I'll go for more esoteric and confusing.

Current Mood: bouncy
8:35 pm
ferrets are love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

I swear to the many gods I only took this test once!
Thursday, May 13th, 2004
2:34 am
Waiting again....
I wonder how much time of my life is spent waiting... waiting rather than doing. I hate waiting. I hate waiting in lines. I hate waiting at the doctor's office. Sometimes I will procrastinate doing something important just because I don't want to have to wait. (That actually makes sense, you just have to understand the context.) Heck, I usually don't buy stuff off the internet or out of catalogs because I don't want to have to wait for the item to get to me in the mail.

Now here I am waiting when I should be sleeping, or at least trying to sleep.

Wow, that was kind of pointless. Oh well.
Friday, May 7th, 2004
3:38 pm
Well, as I wait, I figure I'll post a little something else up here. But what? I know... food. It seems that after 10 years in this city I've become something of an expert on Atlanta's restaurants. People are always asking me for suggestions for good eating places. This forum seems as good as any for sharing some of my well-earned knowledge.

I'll start with La Fonda. I ate there just the other day so it's still fresh in my memory.

La Fonda is a local Atlanta chain, owned by the same folks who own Fillini's Pizza. In fact you will usually find one next door to the other (so if you dining partner isn't in the mood for Caribbean/ Mexican they can always pop next door for a slice). There are several locations around the Atlanta area - Roswell Road, Peachtree next to Lefont movie theater, and at least one other that I can't recall. The best one used to be in Little 5 Points but it is long gone and has been replaced by a pretty decent tapas joint.

When eating at La Fonda I highly recommend sticking with the quesadillas or the paella. The cuban sandwiches are OK, but if you want Cuban I can recommend FAR better. Apologies but I don't remember the Spanish names, but the corn & jalapeno, spanish sausage, and shrimp and spinach (the choice of myself and my dining partner on our last outing) are all awesome. One of the great things about this place is that the seafood is always fresh! The shrimp was absolutely perfect, with not even a hint of the fishiness shrimp can sometimes have. The chips and salsa are also of note at La Fonda. The chips need a little salt, but otherwise are among my favorites in the city. The salsa is flavorful and spicy, but won't overwhelm even those with a delicate palate. The paella is also really good, especially for the price. The chicken pieces in the paella have a lightly smoked flavor and literally falls off the bone. And finally there is the sangria. I don't often drink alcohol with lunch, but the sangria at La Fonda usually proves to be too much of a temptation. It even has fresh chunks of fruit soaked in the wine and juice mixture. Awesome stuff! All locations (that I have been to) have both indoor and outdoor seating. If the weather is nice, I highly recommend sittng outside.

Well, thats all for this edition....

Current Mood: bored
Wednesday, May 5th, 2004
2:27 am
One has to wonder what it is that drive a person to spend vast amounts of time energy creating something that will waste the time of countless other people and cause them suffering. Is it the result of an out-of-control ego? Lack of empathy? Sheer ignorance? Or all of the above....? I can, to some extent, understand hacking... it is a basic human drive to explore the unknown. And I suppose I can even empathize with the desire to wield wanton destruction upon corporate giants in cyberspace. But beyond that I am lost. What could cause someone to desire to wreak havoc with thousands of people around the world? Hopefully I will never know.

Current Mood: aggravated
Tuesday, May 4th, 2004
4:11 pm
Ummm... hello....
I'm not sure how many people will ever see this. But here I am. Please don't be expecting deep insights into my psyche or day-to-day facts about my life. I'm not even sure what I'll be posting here. I guess we'll just have to wait and find out. Random thoughts, observations visions and maybe even a little bit about myself... if you look closely.
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